The Satchel
by Kira Tamarion
Summary: Nathaniel Howe, Commander of the Grey, is grieving the loss of his best friend. Adaryn is a warden with a secret she hides in a satchel. This is a story about how to cherish memories and find joy in the little things.


AN at the bottom

* * *

"_No, you distinctly said, 'Lightning bolts shooting out of your eyes.' _

_Nathaniel put down his mug. "Yes, but I meant to say 'shooting out of your arse.'"_

"_Well, that would have been a more impressive insult. But I would have conscripted you anyway."_

_…..._

Nathaniel Howe, Commander of the Grey, sat in the dining hall as he willed away the memory. There were too many of them. For six years he and Alistair had been as close as brothers. _He reached his Calling so fast…too fast. It's been eight months and we still don't know why._

He stood up. _I had better go to my office. The paperwork is threatening to take over again, and I need a distraction._

Then he saw Adaryn.

She came to them six months ago, at death's door after having been attacked by a small pack of darkspawn. The wardens on patrol said she had already killed two of them before they arrived, but a third sliced deeply into her thigh. Nathaniel was shocked that she survived the Joining, and then grateful, because she was the most talented duel-wielding fighter they had, and she was a marvel with traps.

She was average height and build. Her hair was a dark chestnut, her skin was pale, and her eyes were green. She had a bawdy sense of humor, and enjoyed spending time with her brother and sister wardens.

"And I cannot get up the nerve to say more than four words to her."

…...

"_You are just stalling. Go up and ask her."_

"_Why did we come here again? Aren't there smugglers or darkspawn to kill?"_

_Nathaniel shook his head. "Alistair, you have no trouble killing darkspawn. Trust me, talking to a beautiful woman is much easier."_

"_And much scarier"_

_..._

As he watched Adaryn leave, he looked up and said softly, "I know you're laughing at me, Alistair."

That night she came back at dinnertime, carrying what everyone referred to as The Satchel. Every rest day for the last five months, Adaryn took it with her and spent the day away from the main part of the Vigil. She would have dinner with everyone and an after-dinner pint before she retired up stairs.

She never said what was in The Satchel.

Nathaniel decided that tonight he was going to find out.

He watched as Adaryn went upstairs. His attraction to her was the worst kept secret at the Vigil, the only one who did not seem to know was the object of his affection. So a few minutes later when he stood up, two of his wardens hooted, several leered, and the rest gave him two thumbs up.

He shook his head. "I'm just turning in early."

Sigrun grinned knowingly. "Keep telling yourself that, Commander."

Nathaniel's voice was gruff. "I am going to bed."

No one believed him and he knew it. He simply sighed and smirked. "Well then, wish me luck."

A chorus of cheers sounded behind him as he left the dining hall

...

"_You know, it always surprises me how lucky we are." Alistair grinned._

"_Luck? Lucky to have horrid nightmares and have to kill darkspawn for a living?"_

"_Well, not the nightmare part, or the darkspawn part. But Nate, think about it: Neither of us grew up with a…conventional family, and we both had siblings that should have been drowned at birth, but now we have a family of fifty brothers and sisters, you are an uncle three times over, and I have a purpose that doesn't include being a lyrium-addled Templar or a_ _Bastard King."_

"_Perhaps that genlock hit your head harder than we thought."_

_Alistair smiled. "Nathaniel, your crushing optimism is truly a gift."_

**~oOOo~**

Nathaniel reached the top of the stairs and caught a whiff of jasmine. He followed it to the library and looked in. She was sitting by the window, but he couldn't see what she was doing. He easily slipped in without a sound and cautiously moved to where he could watch her. He looked at the wooden frame in her hand as she threaded a needle.

_Embroidery? _

Nathaniel could not reconcile the delicate needlework with the warden who could cheerfully carve up darkspawn and laugh at Oghren's jokes.

"Commander, it would be easier to watch if you came out from behind the bookcase."

_I swear I can hear Alistair laughing. _He walked into the light.

Adaryn smiled. "Sigrun knew you were going to try and find me tonight. I was just listening for you."

"Sigrun? How did she know?"

Adaryn shrugged her shoulders. "She's kind of canny that way."

Nathaniel approached her and saw the squares of linen stacked in the Satchel along with colored embroidery thread. "What are you doing? Wait…I know it's embroidery. I mean…what are you doing with the embroidery?"

Adaryn smiled encouragingly and patted the seat next to her. "If you sit down, I'll show you."

Nathaniel sat on the couch next to her as she reached into the satchel and handed him a square. It was an eight-inch piece of linen embroidered with a beautifully detailed replica of Varel's official seal of office. The delicate script at the bottom read:

**_Seneschal Varel  
_****_Called to the Maker's side while defending the Vigil.  
_****_9:31 Dragon_**

Nathaniel held the square in wonder. "This is…beautiful...are the other squares also memorials?"

Adaryn nodded and gave Nathaniel a stack. He looked through them. She had created a memorial square for every warden that had died since Alistair reclaimed the Vigil.

Adaryn's voice was soft, "When I came here, everyone would talk about the wardens who had passed on, but that's all there was…talk. Who would remember them when we all die? Wardens' lives are short, but their memories should live on. That's why I started this. Once I have the last squares done, I was going to sew them together and ask if I could hang it on the wall in the Main hall. Sigrun thought you'd say yes. She's the one who's given me the information about each warden."

It was then Nathaniel noticed that her hands covered the current square. She looked at him and bit her lip, unsure whether or not to show him.

He laid his hand on hers. "May I?"

She moved her hands so he could pick it up.

It was Alistair's.

Centered on the square, was the shield he had carried since the end of the Blight. It was the one that had been Duncan's. It stood out in vibrant color and detail. Partially hidden behind it were two other shields, both done in very pale colors, almost invisible: The lions of House Theirin, and the Templar's Sword of Mercy. The blue flames of the Archdemon framed the square. At the bottom it read:

**Warden Commander Alistair Theirin**  
**In War, Victory. In Peace, Vigilance. In Death, Sacrifice.**  
**9:36 Dragon**

Artfully embroidered in the corner was a small wheel of cheese.

Suddenly Nathaniel's eyes became blurry. He turned away, trying desperately to stop the memories. Then he felt her soft hand on his cheek, gently turning him to face her.

She took the square from his hand. "Don't fight them, that's how he lives on in your heart."

Nathaniel could no longer stop the tears, he choked out, "He was my _brother_, my _best friend_..."

Adaryn pulled his unresisting form to her and held him as he cried.

**~oOOo~**

It had been two months since that night.

Everyone at the Vigil was gathered in the main hall, as the memorial was unveiled. There hung the memories of their brothers and sisters who had gone before them. In the middle, surrounded by his family, was Alistair's.

As Adaryn and Nathaniel stood and watched, he picked up her hand, on which sat a silverite wedding band, and held it to his heart.

...

"_Lucky Bastard." Alistair laughed._

_Nathaniel grinned. "No, Alistair, my parents were married."_

_~Fin~_

_This is secret santa story I wrote for Ygrain. It is a bit of a departure from my usual style, but I hope it brought a smile to your face~ KT_


End file.
